(d)evolution

I kiss you through my fingersI touch you whereit’s socially acceptablewe’ve known each other long beforethe sexes were dividedbut here we are todayat a place where sex divides us

morning pages – april

April 1 My own intuition tells me to be skeptical about the stories of birth and raising children that I hear all around. Sometimes I feel I know nothing about these things but, on the other hand, I have all the natural capabilities of giving birth and raising a child – that’s (one of the…

the wedding (part three: setting the course)

I At Pokoj We sit in the gloomy bar, cigarette smoke drifting over us, music barely heard. We’re the sole customers. Lukas’s university mates are here to bid us goodbye. Right now going back to Bulgaria sounds even exciting. Although we haven’t left yet, plans are being made at the table of a group coming…

the wedding (part two: high tides and low tides)

The tale of my wedding should start with the engagement. And, just like the wedding itself, it’s contradictory. Completely true and painful with the fact it had to happen thrice. Our engagement is a story about mistakes and the love that has the power to undo them. About strength and weakness. About high and low…

life in may – from the outside

I’m not a partaker. I’m an observer. When I experience or see something beautiful I don’t sink into it. No, I swim to the surface and then take a look down. I let the water bend the image and then I capture it. With words or photographs. I don’t want it to be this way….

a farewell letter to the city i didn’t love

Hello. Yes, it’s me. I’m still here. It’s been a long time since I last walked the strees of your hills. I haven’t cycled along the river recently. I haven’t taken you photographs. I’m sorry. It’s been almost two years since the day I arrived in you, a big rucksack on my back. I apologise. I…

In you I found me

I come into the bedroom and see the clothes strewn on the bed. That morning I only listened to him preparing for the job interview but now – a little bit later – the episode was filled with the missing visual elements. I see the possibilities that he turned down (although I had had no…

a coursebook in personal history

16 June 2012 I wrote the following in my diary: “no matter what will happen tomorrow, after a year or after a minute a while ago I was flying on two wings the first – the wing of a spontaneously made decision the second – of a butterfly the first was supporting me better because…

between abstinence and alcoholism (a tale of love)

There are people who find drinking delightful. I’ve seen them mainly in films although the average Bulgarian who lives in a village and drinks every day without getting drunk can easily fit into this category of people. The only condition is for them to really love the liquid in their glass. In films those are usually…