morning pages by the sea: 25 july

my pulse is tick-tocking. could the clock have been inspired by the human heart? * Florence and my thirst for reading. for diving into imaginary oceans and going out of them, enjoying the drops of salty water slowly evaporating off my body as the feeling from the book wears away. is this life or is…

Thoughts after a talk on Tibet

That talk made me think of many things actually. Even of things that have nothing to do with Tibet. But that’s what well-told stories do – they pull a string in us but the melody sounds different in each of us because of our own experiences and emotional state. Anyway, the talk was the last…

dancing with wolves

Today I want to write about my favourite book. There are many which have touched or fascinated me with their ideas but only one which seems to be written about me. That’s Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Actually, it’s not exactly my favourite book that I want to write about….

juley is one

I walk towards the trash bin sometime after sunset. The only place and the only time I can be alone in the evening. When Lukáš is also at home, that is. I may think about how crazy it is that your child is one but is still likely to wake up crying half an hour…

naturally

“Foreword” I don’t write but not because I have nothing to write about. Not because I don’t think (about anything other than a baby’s physiological needs). I just don’t have time. Otherwise, I think about thousands of things. While satisfying a baby’s physiological needs, I think about million other things. Perhaps I shouldn’t. But I…

of things

Lukáš, Julián and I are having cakes in the mall (yeah, I know). All the time I’ve been wanting to buy some red sparkling Christmas tree balls because we only have golden ones at home and red nicely matches golden. I finally buy them. I regret even before I’ve paid but I pay them nevertheless….

morning pages – may

3 May Fruit and vegetable stalls begin to attract me. They remind me of markets in Bulgaria and bring me nostalgia for home. However, I already know that’s not a call to return. That’s the trap of Bulgarian summer. Its promise of eternity that can’t be kept. I don’t believe in it like I used…

morning pages – april

April 1 My own intuition tells me to be skeptical about the stories of birth and raising children that I hear all around. Sometimes I feel I know nothing about these things but, on the other hand, I have all the natural capabilities of giving birth and raising a child – that’s (one of the…

morning pages

I love routines and journals. That’s why when I read about the “morning pages” exercise, which includes routine and a journal, I immediately decided it was for me. I began on March 19 and I’m still doing it. I don’t remember how exactly I came across it but I got inspired to try it thanks…

the family is dead, long live the family

‘It will never happen,’ I tell Lukaš. ‘We’ll never go back to the Czech Republic. I just can’t imagine having to move again with all the stuff that we have.’ I think I tell him this somewhere in the end of May. I might be wrong but the memory of these words of mine smell…

the wedding (part three: setting the course)

I At Pokoj We sit in the gloomy bar, cigarette smoke drifting over us, music barely heard. We’re the sole customers. Lukas’s university mates are here to bid us goodbye. Right now going back to Bulgaria sounds even exciting. Although we haven’t left yet, plans are being made at the table of a group coming…

the wedding (part two: high tides and low tides)

The tale of my wedding should start with the engagement. And, just like the wedding itself, it’s contradictory. Completely true and painful with the fact it had to happen thrice. Our engagement is a story about mistakes and the love that has the power to undo them. About strength and weakness. About high and low…